This thing called life!

This thing called life...when i think of it, it scares me, thrills me, fascinates me but yet its an unsolvable puzzle. Everyone who knows me know that i am passionate about whatever i decide to do, i give it my all, my best shots, i dont believe in half measures, its either i love it or i dont. I am passionate about doing positive things, am creaitive, am laid back, am bold, am shy, am intelligent, am soft spoken, am wierd, am exciting, am good, i could be difficult, me like every specie of a being is as complicated as it could get. I lost an uncle early this year, january 29 to be precise. He was just 39 years, just starting life, vibrant, got married two years before, had two kids, the first two years and the other about few months old. I was shocked to my bone marror, i cried, everybody cried, his wife was shattered, she had lost a friend, a soul mate, a father, a husband, just barely two years before they just exchanged vows and started a family.

I couldnt understand it, all activities for that day paused as i dashed home and saw his wife in our house, she was down and her baby was crying cos she couldnt make anything out of the breast milk (the mother has cried her eyes out so the breast is dry)....i remember rushing to a corner and crying..i cried cos i felt this was cruel,these kids are just little and didnt even know what was going on. that was one moment i dont ever want to witness in my life ever, it was terrible. That started a new dawn for the widow, things were hard and she needed a job since her helper and supporter was gone, the little dashes people were giving her would definitely stop at some point and she would need something to fall back on, she cried on those that could help her and my dad promised to help out, he took her cv and i was happy and hopeful...i just wanted her to experience something new like some sort of consolation.

Few weeks back, my dad was complaining that he told the woman(widow) of a job appplication at some place and she needed to go for the written interview..he hadnt heard from her after the interview and he felt she should have at least given him the feed back whether good or bad. Then came a week ago, i got home and saw my mum screaming, wailing and crying....what happened and i was told that my late uncle's few month old daughter is dead...i blinked but yet it was true, she had died and we later found out she was ill for days and the mother didnt say a word to her husbands family...did i also say that she had moved out of her husband's house barely two months after his death despite pleas from my mum and some other family members..(i really dont knw how it feels being a widow so cant blame her choice)....my mum also said she had been begging her to bring the kids to spend the holiday with her but she would dribble her and give flimsy excuses, now the child was dead and the family plotted to collect the other child (2years old boy) from her. They finally did, she had no choice and she lost. She lost her husband, her child died, now the only one left has been taken from her cos she was careless..i heard when the child was ill, they only took her to the church for prayers and when it was getting outa hand, she was then rushed to the clinic. i pity the fact that her only child has been taken from her but what can i do, am just an observer in all this and it hurts. Life is cruel, you cant explain or decode it. I have tried talking to my mum to forgive this sister in law of hers but she is adamant and what can i do..its a family affair and it hurts more when i see this little boy playing around ignorant of what is going on. He even calls my mum mummy, so soon? Am sure he misses his mother and i was told he asked about her, he is little but i dont think this is the best way for him to grow up..infact am tensed and just speechless, dunno what to say or do, not that i matter anyways...this thing called life...